Be nice to them. They're gonna choose which nursing home you go into.
I want to give you a brief history of my family and hook em, all right? You'll know I'm a Texas Longhorns fan. It looks like this. You can practice on your own if you like. Don't do this because you're at a rock concert.
You gotta pull them out for Longhorns, okay? Now, early on, you can see with my kids, this is something I try to train them to do. Spend a lot of time trying to teach them how to do hook, emotions, go Texas, all that kind of stuff. And my daughter got on board quickly because in her youth, she really liked to make me happy. Changed over time, all right, she realized she had more joy in making me miserable, but then eventually has come back around and she's representing Texas as best she can out in southwest Missouri where she's going to school.
Now, my son Benton is the second story here. All right? I can remember the day when my wife and I were in the other room and I heard this noise and happening with my kids in the other room. And anytime that happens, you know, as a parent with little kids, that there's already panic in your mind from this story. And then the sound we heard was, he can do it.
He can finally do it. Which that's also terrifying because you don't know what he just learned how to do in the other room. And so my wife and I, we go running in to check out what it is that he could do. And we found this wonderful, beautiful face for the first time doing hook em. It was a big, big moment for us.
All right? However, this poor child was raised in a time when Texas football was pretty pathetic. And he didn't have the love for Texas that I wished he would have had. He's now a student at UK and is all in on their football team right now. And it's.
Well, it's. It's a good time to say that. Check back in next week. All right? But it's.
It's good, and I'm happy for him. And then there's Baylor. Now, Baylor, in his youth, was a fan of the Baylor Bears. We didn't name him after Baylor University. It just kind of was a coincidence in many ways.
It wasn't intentional. But he. He. He had all their gear, wore their stuff. Stuff was in his room.
He was all about it until there was a day when Baylor played Texas. He was probably about 7, 8, 9 years old, and he had to pick a side. And he picked a side that day. And if you look at a more recent picture here, Baylor standing next to me, he is throwing hook em. Baylor is choosing Texas.
You can tell. All right? He can tell by his shirt, and you can tell by the hook em horns. He's choosing Texas. That was as clever as I could get.
All right, now, Baylor. Baylor loves Texas as much as I do. He cheers just as loud and he feels just as sick as I do when they're playing. And that is a beautiful, beautiful thing.
Now, is that the goal of parenting?
Is it to get your kids to love the things that you love?
Maybe. Maybe. If what you love is actually worth loving, if what you love is actually the best thing for your kid to love. We have all sorts of goals. We have all sorts of things that we want for our kids, right?
Maybe. Maybe your goal as a parent is to have the smartest kids. Maybe your goal is to try to give your kids all the things that you wished you would have had. Maybe you want to raise kids who are competent, independent. Maybe you want to have kids who can grow up, and then as adults, they can be your friend and you can have a relationship with them.
That's a good goal. Maybe your goal is just to simply have good citizens, that kids who grow up and they are contributing to society, not subtracting from society.
What is the goal of parenting and what it's. What if we can have these lists of all these goals that we have, and many of them are, in fact, good goals to have. But what if those good goals aren't built from the best foundation? What if it's not the best goal? And again, it doesn't mean that all the other things that we want for our kids are bad.
It's just that they aren't best. What if there is a perspective that reveals the best of parenting? Now we're in the series, or middle of a series that we're calling Made for More. Because this life is not all that there is. We believe that there's something after this life.
We believe that there's a forever. And we believe that a forever means that there was something before time began as best we can understand. And then there is something that is still out there after us. When time ends, there's a beginning and there's an end, and that makes sense to us. But forever says there's always been something on either side of those things.
And scripture tells us that we're made for it. We're made for that forever. We're made for more than just this. But this isn't Something that we just simply think about. It's not something that's just kind of out there that we dwell on or consider.
If there really is a forever, then it creates all sorts of implications in our lives. In fact, the promise of forever, the hope of something beyond this life, should change everything about what we do in this life. It should change all sorts of things. It should change how we do our finances, what we eat and drink, where we go, what we do, all those things. But most importantly, it's going to impact the way that we treat people.
We've said it this way. Forever touches every part of your life, especially the way that we treat people. We saw that last week with marriage. Doc had some big ideas last week. I can't go through all of them, but I want to bring up two that are really, really big.
The first one was this. It's not about me. Do you remember hearing that last week? Do you remember thinking marriage was about you until Doc said that last week? Like, I mean, it's at least 50% about you, right?
Doc said no. If you're mad, you can talk to him about it, right? But he says, no, marriage isn't about you and that it's about what you're doing for the other person. Doc pointed out that you're married to God's K. There's weight that comes with that. The second big idea was that it's your job to do everything you can to nudge your spouse towards God.
Because if there is a forever, then it's forever that matters most, and it shapes absolutely everything that you do.
Those are the same big ideas when it comes to parenting. Parenting isn't about you. Now, if you've ever had a baby or a toddler, you've learned it really quick, right?
Somewhere along the line. We think that having kids is because we're trying to fulfill something within us. We're trying to bring a joy or a happiness to our lives. But, guys, parenting isn't about you. And it is your job to nudge your kids towards God.
Because forever reveals the best goal of parenting. And like Doc said last week, these principles that we're going to talk about today, they're being applied specifically to parenting today. But if you are not a parent, or maybe you are a parent, but your kids are not really in that parenting stage anymore, maybe you've got grandkids, whatever. I'm telling you that the things we're talking about today apply to all of those relationships still. They're still going to apply to relationships outside of whether you're a parent or not, these are just truths that are real.
And with a little bit of intentionality, a little bit of creativity, you can get these things into any relationship. So what I want to do is I want to look at two big ideas that I believe are going to help us reveal the best goal of parenting. Starting with this. Forever tells you your kid's greatest need. Forever tells you your kids greatest need.
If there is a forever, well then the best goal of parenting becomes pretty clear. Because our kids want all sorts of things and then they will call those things needs. We just watched a video of kids talking through that. They know the right answers and then they also give you the truthful answers, right? They know the difference and they know that the things that they want aren't necessarily needs, but they call them needs.
And then when your child defines something as a need, that then makes them believe that they're entitled to whatever that thing is. Because it's a need, right? And if they're entitled to it, then, well, then they have the right to demand it. And if they have the right to demand it, well then, well then if you love them, then you'd surely deliver the thing that they need.
Parents, it's very important for you to come to grips with the fact that your children will come into the world with a distorted sense of personal need. In fact, it's probably not that hard to comprehend because you probably know some adults who haven't ever got past it.
Maybe you're one of those adults.
We all struggle, we with this distorted sense of need.
Don't set your kids up for the same failures because your children will do what you do. They'll then attach their happiness, or they'll attach their inner sense of peace or their inner sense of rest. They're going to attach it to the things that they have told themselves that they need. And then they'll begin looking to those things to provide them with, with their identity. And so your kids will say things like they they needed better friends or more popular friends.
Or your kids are going to say things like they need that new pair of shoes. Not because the shoes they have are bad, it's just because these other shoes are in style, right? Or they're going to tell you that they need the new game system. The old game system still works and it's just fine. They just need the new one.
Or they're going to need a new car, or they're going to need a new pickleball paddle. That's a true story for my home this week.
Your kids will make it their life's purpose to acquire what they've been trained to see as needs.
And you have the authority and the responsibility to train them. You get to do that. And so this means without it ever being a conscious decision, your kids are going to look horizontally for the things that can only be obtained vertically. They're going to look for the things of this world, the things of this life, to somehow satisfy and meet their needs, when in reality they're missing the one source vertically, God himself, who can actually meet and satisfy those needs. And so they'll find all sorts of ways to pursue satisfaction and joy and happiness, and yet they'll be empty every time.
Forever tells us that the best goal of parenting is preparing your kids for eternity. That's the best goal. It is your kids greatest need, their greatest need. There isn't anything they need more than the need to know God and to respond to him with worship. Matthew 16 backs that up, says, what good will it be for someone to gain the whole world and yet forfeit their soul?
What can anyone give in exchange for their soul? Guys, your kid's soul is the most important thing. Your kid's most important need cannot be found on Amazon. It can't be found at Target. Your kids have an eternal need.
Put another verse up there with that. That's from Romans chapter six. It's Paul writing to the Romans church, and it's not really about parenting, but man, it reveals our greatest need really well, makes it really simple. He says, the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord, as a parent, as a grandparent, as a friend, of someone who has kids. Your job is to remind your kids of their greatest need, to remind them of the hard truth that they are filled with sin just like you, and that one day they're going to face death just like you.
And that on the other side of that death is a moment where we're going to see God face to face.
Are you preparing your kids for that moment, Or are you just teaching them something else?
Are you training your kids to look for joy in anything other than God, or are you leading them to the one thing that matters most? You see, forever reminds us that our children were created for something vastly bigger than their happiness or ours. Forever tells you your kid's greatest need does more than that. Forever also gives you a reason to be intentional about parenting, which is kind of an interesting thing to say. Let's be honest.
Some people take parenting very unseriously. Some people do not parent with any sort of intentionality. And we live in a world where we look at that and we. We try not to judge. Right.
In fact, there's just so many different strategies that people have to parenting. And we live in a culture where there's this temptation to just say, well, everyone, every style, every kind is equal. Everyone has a right to do it their way. Every. Every parent that's their kid, they have the right to decide how they want to raise their kid.
They should do what works for them and for their family. And so then that parent should decide what discipline looks like, and they should decide whether they lean towards strict or rather towards, like, a permissive style. They should decide how much autonomy their child's going to have at different ages. And there's just thousands of ways that this plays out. Decisions that parents make and how we try to sit back and act as if everyone has their own way of doing it and that's the right way, no matter what.
But if there is a forever, if there is a forever that happens after this life, and we believe there is, then we had better take this role of parenting very seriously. Because forever reveals that this life has a plot, that there's a story that's bigger than our personal story. Forever reveals that something bigger is going on. And it's not us. We are not the center of the story.
In fact, we're just kind of these little specks out on the outside edges. But that there is a God at the center of the story, and he's what matters most. And as we begin looking at that story, you can break it down into four simple little Creation, fall, redemption, destiny. This story shows us that there's a God who created that, designed that, made things the way that they were supposed to be. But then we showed up and we messed it all up.
We disturbed what he had created. We failed, and we fall. And yet the story also tells us that God has done everything he can to redeem that, to make it right, to bring us back to Him. And there's this one piece of the story that's still out in front of us. It's our destiny.
And if you begin looking at the bigger story, forever tells us there's this bigger story beyond us. And if you start looking at it, if you start looking at this plot, it shows us that every single one of us is moving towards eternity. Every single one of us, parents and kids alike. Which means that we better look through the long lens of eternity to understand what God has called us to as parents, that we would Take this role seriously, that we would be intentional with it. There's a verse in the Old Testament, Deuteronomy, chapter 6, verse 5, says, Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.
Now this is maybe the most famous verse in the Bible. Now, I know most of us have kind of leaned to like John 3:16 or whatever else, but this is one that in Jesus day would have been the most famous verse in his scriptures. Something they would have repeated daily, multiple times a day. It was a standard foundational piece. This was something that God told Moses to tell the Israelite people.
This is, this is it. This is most important. This is the foundational piece. This is what it's all built on. Everything is all about this.
Jesus quotes it in the New Testament and calls it the greatest commandment. It's the most important thing that you would know God and that you would practice loving God with everything that you have.
Sometimes when we look at this, we forget the origin of where this verse came from and we forget the context in which it was written. The very next verse tells us that this isn't something you keep to yourself. Verse 6 says, these commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. And he says, impress them on your children. Impress them.
You talk about them when you sit at home. You talk about God when you're on a walk along the road, when it's time for bed, you talk about God in the morning when they get up. Talk about God always, all the time. You impress these truths on your children. It's supposed to be something that you pass off to your kids.
See, parenting is about getting your kids to love what you love. As long as what you love is actually best. Something way more important than the Texas Longhorns, right? Because there is a forever. And you had better lead your kids to the one who will.
They will one day stand before you. Better take this role seriously. It's not just an Old Testament idea. New Testament backs us up too. Ephesians chapter 6, verse 4.
This is the first verse that I ever memorized. Mainly because my mom was passive aggressively messing with my dad, but nonetheless. Ephesians 6:4. Fathers do not exasperate your children. Instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
It is not only for fathers. This verse does not suggest that moms you should provoke your children to anger. Doesn't say that this is for parents. Parents forever is real. And so you'd better take your role seriously.
You had better nurture Your children in the Lord's training and warnings, you had better take seriously the idea of disciplining and instructing your kids. It should be your highest goal. Because let's be honest, everything else in the world wants to raise your kids, and they're gonna try sometimes harder than you will. It's true of every institution in our culture right now. They would love nothing more than to raise your kids.
Your jobs is to prepare your kids to stand before God forever. Tells us that we better get really intentional about parenting. Tell you, this even comes with a warning. One time, Jesus is talking to his disciples. There's some kids who are there kind of around.
And Jesus tells his disciples, if anyone causes one the of these little ones, those who believe in me, to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. Now, every time I've ever heard that verse, I've always heard it in that context of Jesus and his disciples and other people's kids that are present. I've never really thought of this verse.
As a parent, I think I should have. In fact, I think this verse probably creates one of the more terrifying questions I've ever asked. And for however terrifying this is for you, I want you to know I've been wrestling with this for a week. This is the kind of verse, this is the kind of question that could make you stay up at night, struggle to sleep.
Is there anything that you're doing right now that's hindering your kids from Jesus?
Is there anything that you're doing that is actually creating stumbling blocks for your kids that are preventing them from getting to Jesus.
And I would hope that we would all say, no, of course not. Right?
Maybe you can identify some stuff, but maybe there's some stuff that we do unintentionally that's actually working against the greatest goal of raising kids. What does that look like? How do we cause our kids to stumble? How about this? Who controls your kids schedule?
Do you let your kids determine where they go and what they do, or are you managing their time for them? And I know that as kids get older, it shifts. My kids are older and I know that they've got different levels of responsibility and different schedules, and over time, you begin handing that stuff off as you should. But especially when they're young, especially when they're young, I consistently see parents making decisions with their kids, schedules that are actually hindering their kids from getting close to Jesus, keeping them too busy, schedules, opportunities, all that kind of stuff. It's just too busy, right?
We schedule stuff sometimes that keeps our kids even from Christian community. I can remember I sound like such an old man when I say this and I hate it, but I can remember a day when Sundays were sacred. I can remember when Wednesday nights were sacred. Went to a public high school, played basketball and we had early practices on Wednesday in case we wanted to go to church. That wasn't 100 years ago.
That was 20 years ago.
The world's changed and everything else wants to raise your kids and everything else wants your kids time. Sports leagues are the worst, but they're not the only one. It's music lessons and it's dance classes and theater productions and academic teams and anything and everything else. And as parents I see it too often where we will find time for anything that for and then lie to ourselves that it's in the best interest of their future. We're trying to build something positive for their future.
We're getting them on teams or we're getting them in these groups and it's all going to help them in their future. And then we use those things as excuses for why we aren't growing their faith, their most important forever future.
Who's keeping them busy?
Do you let them make those decisions or do you do it for them? Either way it's wrong.
Are you building a schedule that actually pushes your kids away from God or you them towards God? There's more. Or rather who makes your kids decisions altogether? Do your kids go to school only when they want to or do they brush their teeth only when they feel like it? Probably not.
You probably decide those things for them.
There's some decisions maybe you let your little kids make, but most of them you're making for them. And yet then I watch parents allow their kids to make their own spiritual decisions. I did student ministry for 15 years. And the most common excuse for why kids wouldn't come to student ministry on Sunday nights would was because they had homework to do. As if Sunday night was the only time they could do homework.
And the bigger issue isn't so much that the kids had a problem with that. The problem was that the parents left them.
And I watch kids who make plans with their friends and then they skip out on their Christian community. And I watch parents let them. And then I watch kids spend the night at a friend's house and they sleep in on a Sunday, Sunday morning. And I watch parents let them. Now listen, a decision to follow Jesus is your child's decision.
One of the most painful things for me as a parent is that I can't make my kids spiritual decisions for them. I wish I could. I wish I could make all sorts of decisions for my kids that I don't get to make, especially now that they're mostly adults.
And you could be the perfect parent and you could consistently choose the right path for your kids and put them in front of God. And your kids could still choose to be very far from God. That's just a harsh reality. And that's not a hypothetical for some of you. There's actually a sting that comes with that situation.
And I know that making your kid go to church isn't an automatic entrance into heaven for them either. I know that making your kids go to youth group isn't going to save them. However, your kids decision to go to church or to go to youth group or their decision to read their Bible or to develop other spiritual habits. Parents, those are your decisions. You have the responsibility and the authority to make decisions for your kids spiritual health just the same as you have the responsibility to make choices for their physical health and their social health and their educational health and everything else.
Don't pass off the one that is most important.
You see, as a parent, sometimes we actually hinder our kids. Sometimes we're actually creating stumbling blocks for our kids by giving them decisions and giving them authority that they should not have. Are you pushing them away from God? Are you pushing, pulling them towards God? There's another verse, Exodus 20.
You're going to be familiar with this one. Ten Commandments says, Honor your father and your mother so that you may live long in the land that your God is giving you. Now we could come up with a very long list of why God says that we should honor our parents. There's all sorts of reasons, all sorts of very good reasons. Let me give you just one reason.
I think one of the reasons is because God expects parents, parents to have more wisdom to life than their kids do.
That kids should honor their parents because their parents should be leading their kids, that they should be imparting their wisdom to their kids. I think it's expected that you would be able to build up and train your kids with godly wisdom. In fact, we can push it further. I think passing off spiritually mature decisions to your spiritual, spiritually immature kids is wildly irresponsible.
But we do it.
I think it's how we hinder them. I think it's how we create stumbling blocks.
The most important wisdom you can hand down is that there is a forever. And I know that Walking through this message, it feels pretty heavy, I'll tell you, because I've been feeling it all week long. Feels very heavy. And so it's worth saying that there's a reason you wanted kids in the first place, that there is a joy and a happiness that comes from having kids that is unrivaled. They're going to make you laugh, they're going to make you proud.
There's all sorts of value to them, obviously. And if you can lead your kids through Jesus, where they will choose him, it's going to bring you a joy that is absolutely unbeatable.
But don't for a second allow yourself to see this as anything other than a very serious role. And you'd better parent them intentionally because forever reveals your kids greatest need.
Are you making time to instill life transforming perspectives in your children? Are you on the fly, just trying to figure out what works? Trying to get them to obey? Are you trying just to survive another day?
Are you building towards a future?
It means you may have to give up things in your personal life or maybe in your career, or maybe even make different decisions as a family because you truly, we understand that the eternal importance of what God has called you to do. You have a calling to lead your kids to eternity. We spend a ton of time preparing our kids for recitals. Do you do anything to prepare for eternity? We spend so much time preparing our kids for college.
Are you doing anything to prepare them for eternity? We, we spend so much time and effort trying to prepare our kids for careers and all these other things. And many of them are good. Don't hear me suggest that you should not pay attention or care for those things. I just want to know, are you actually working?
Are you putting effort in, Are you investing in your children, anything towards eternity?
Because I think every single one of us has an opportunity to push our children away from God.
We also have that opportunity to pull them closer. It's heavy, I know, but I want to do this. If you're a parent, would you stand? I don't care how old they are, but if you're a parent, I want you to stand with me. And if you're not a parent, could you just pray with me over our parents?
If you're a kid, pray for your parents.
God, what a beautiful gift you've given us.
It's a challenge beyond just about anything else in this world.
And it's heavy.
That comes with a deep responsibility.
God, I pray for our parents in the room today. God, I pray that you would give them eyes to see and ears to hear your heart. That there is an eternity. That there is something that is lasting long beyond this.
God, I pray that we would feel your grace as a parent. I'm much better at remembering all the things I've messed up and the things I've done well. So God, use your spirit now to give us grace and peace.
Help us to be able to forgive ourselves.
But God, give us eyes with clear vision for the future of the ways in which we can pull our children closer to you. God, there is no greater calling on our lives. May we hear, may we receive. In Jesus name we pray. Amen.